You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
