What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
