Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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