just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
