THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
