Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
