i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
So vagazzling was a success
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