Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
