Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
