The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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