wanna go halves on a baby?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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