Farmville is her only friend.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
