i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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