Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
