just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
