i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
