I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
