oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
