dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
