She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
