I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
