Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
