i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
