Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
This is classic penis vs brain.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Randomize
