tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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