So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
