My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
