Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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