break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
