is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
