I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
My vagina just recognized that song.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
