I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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