That's when you crack a 10am beer
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I FOUND THE LEGS
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
