you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
