just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
