someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
