Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I don't think brook has ever known best
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
