you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
