He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
