I showed him my bush... on skype.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
