Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'm at about main and main street
I think a kid would responsible me up
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Randomize
