can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
