I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
