Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
