Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
