I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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