Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
