we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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