we have officially lost it.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
