Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
