I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
